10 Healthy Reasons to become a BDSM Couple

Why becoming a BDSM couple is so important…

Are you facing some couple’s issues?

Is your relationship becoming too boring and you would like to spice it up?

If the answer is yes, please read this post and discover how BDSM can save you!

 

Why BDSM?

Of course, I don’t consider “50 shades of grey” a BDSM movie or book, not at all. As you all may have noticed, it has been recognized as a socially accepted door towards this practice. It had an unbelievable success worldwide, this means that there are a lot of couples interested and willing to get to know this practice. When these curious people go deeper into BDSM, they will understand that the movie has not much to do with reality. I went deeper into this topic in my post about BDSM after this trilogy’s release.

Believe it or not, BDSM is an act of love and an intimate connection within the couple.  Wrongly interpreted by the “vanilla” people, BDSM is not a violent practice. It is more about respect, sexual experimentation, exploration, communication, control, power exchange, and much more.

It’s far away from “vanilla” which (I don’t want to be critical, it’s a personal choice) is very conventional and basic even if love-maker considers it as passionate.

Nowadays our society thinks that “vanilla” is the right way to have sex, it is culturally accepted and respected. According to several statistics (see also the success of “50 shades of grey”), it appears that both men and women have “sexually dominated someone” in their fantasies. Are you surprised? I am not, actually.

I bet you have already used one of the following bondage tools while having sex with your partner: mask, handcuffs, blindfold, etc. Didn’t you? Then you should try it!

BDSM is also about trial and error within the couple. You know what turns you on, and you need to discover what turns your partner on. Explore, go deep, free yourself from any barriers. You will find out that this discipline is actually good for your mental health, and for the BDSM couple itself.

 

Why should you try it within the couple, and become a BDSM couple?

It is scientifically proven that during a BDSM session your brain releases dopamine and serotonin. We consider these 2 chemical elements as factors of happiness, joy, tranquility, and motivation. They bring positive emotions and you really feel relieved and self-confident. I guess everybody wants to be happy. You can find some more information about the benefits of BDSM in another post.

I can guarantee the positive outcomes of this practice as it is now several years that I have chosen this lifestyle. My partner and I met several years ago and since then we had a wonderful BDSM sexual relationship. Very involving, passionate, and not conventional at all. You can read more about how I became a femdom in my post.

Imagine. At a certain point in your life, it is possible that your sexual life slightly starts to change. It can happen that one day you will really want to have sex with your boyfriend, but you feel that you needed to spice a bit up the act. Subconsciously, you put your belt as lace and collar around your boyfriend’s neck and you use it as a whip. Without thinking too much, your sexual intercourse becomes a session. It will be arousing, exciting, something you didn’t want to end. The BDSM couple intimacy becomes deeper and more intense, both partners will get closer and closer. It is worth trying it!

My partner and I, we always love to discuss sex in detail, about our desires, our feelings, and what we could improve to have a better “result”. These discussions increase day by day and actually are becoming super useful: talking about our experiences we can grow together and enhance intimacy.

 

How can BDSM help you to become a BDSM couple?

Spice up the relationship

There are several ways to spice up your relationship. You can find many websites full of ideas. Just be as creative as you can, everything can be sexier and kinkier with few changes. In one of my posts, you can find a few ideas for organizing a wonderful session. Carefully take care of details, this is one of the secrets of BDSM. You can create a nice setting, wear sexy clothes and underwear, define roles (role play can also be an idea), purchase new bondage tools, and be smart. As mentioned in one of my other posts, the brain is one of the most powerful BDSM tools we have. Play mind games, be sexy, have fun.

Intimacy, trust, and fidelity

Being a BDSM couple involves a high level of trust and respect. The sub/slave completely gives up the control to the dominant, this means that he/she has unconditional trust in the dominant. My sub is 100% sure that what will happen during my session will not hurt him, he knows that there is mutual respect between us and that I take care of him. The deeper the connection is, the more intimate the two partners will be. It will also happen that BDSM creates a healthy dependence between the partners: fidelity will be stronger than ever. Read more in my other post about BDSM & FLR benefits.

Creativity

Here there is not much to say: you can create any situation and atmosphere you want, behave like a different person, experiment with unique positions, use new tools, transform it into a kinky adventure. Be free, without boundaries, and fully enjoy every second of this lifestyle.

Power exchange and play with control

This is one of my favorites. Remember that you can practice it only if both parties agree and if there is mutual consent. As the dominant, you will have total control on your sub. You have the power in every circumstance, and the sub completely loses it. You should find the right balance and do not forget to set a safety word beforehand.

Communication

Communication has a huge role in BDSM couples. Both dominant and sub feel the need to share their feelings and thoughts. In this practice, transparency is a must. It builds trust, intimacy, and growth in the relationship.

Growth

As in every relationship, if there is no growth there is no future. A passive attitude kills the human being and this happens with BDSM, too. Therefore it is super important to keep developing your relationship. Talk with your sub, discuss your desires, explore new areas within this wonderful realm.

Relief from stress and anxiety

It has been scientifically proofed and I can guarantee it according to my experience: BDSM practice relieves you and your partner from stress.  Studies say that whip and chains fuel our arousal. While you experience pain, your brain sends blood to the affected body part. As a result, there is less blood flowing to the prefrontal cortex, where the control of memory is regulated.  What does it mean? You will feel calm and relieved, with no stress and no anxiety. BDSM is known to be good and positive for psychological well-being and mental health.

Of course, this is not an absolute truth or the only way to feel good both psychologically and mentally. Don’t feel forced to experience it if you don’t want to. From my experience, I can say that it is worth trying it!