Submissive and Orgasm Control: what’s that more into detail?

We are all aware that both submissive and orgasm control exists, and that’s a sexual technique often used in BDSM but also in vanilla relationships. Submissive and orgasm control are a perfect combination in this practice.

But, what’s behind that practice?

Why slaves enjoy it?

How does it work? 

How do you control it?
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What do we mean when we talk about submissive and orgasm control?

The term speaks for itself: the mistress is responsible of her submissive and orgasm control.

This technique can cover a lot of ground but has mainly three forms: an orgasm can be denied, ruined, or forced. There can be several shades of the 3 practices, but it is essentially about the real meaning of the words.

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The goal of this practice is that the slave maintains a super high level of excitement and arousal for a period of time. Only the mistress can decide when he can cum and how. During the control period, usually the submissive is humbler and more obedient, easier to handle and more productive.


Submissive and Orgasm Control: why does a slave enjoy having his orgasms controlled?

In the beginning, it sounded very strange to me: how can another person who is not you control your orgasm? It is controlled by the nervous system and, when it arrives, you feel these muscular contractions and a high level of pleasure.

And why would you accept to have it controlled? It is such a pleasure and a basic need that it is difficult to think that you wouldn’t give it up. For what, then?

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But I found out that there is a psychological explanation for that, and it actually makes sense. In a few words: you give up something you love and, afterward, when you are allowed to have it your gratification will be immense.


What brings this practice of submissive and orgasm control in slaves’ mind

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If you are a slave, you may have an answer to this question. If you don’t, I will summarize here some of the practical reasons why. Orgasm control turns you on because:

  • You have a deep desire to hear your mistress say “no” to you, to deny your sexual pleasure for a short or long period of time. This means that she has total control and power over your orgasm, and can freely dominate you. This is extremely exciting for both mistress and slave. Isn’t it?
  • When not wearing the chastity cage or when allowed to satisfy your mistress sexually, you feel a stronger arousal and you will be more powerful. You finally feel a bit useful and appreciated before going back to chastity.
  • You strongly desire that your mistress releases you and finally achieve a powerful orgasm. The waiting time enhances the excitement, it’s a climax to an explosion of pleasure.
  • You feel sexually humiliated, frustrated, helpless and this arouses you. As a submissive, you must accept the (apparent) negative sides of this practice. You will find out that nothing is negative, everything your mistress does for you is for your own good and you will then accept chastity.
  • To be an out-of-control sexual object for your mistress is something you really love. When you are treated as a purely sexual object with disregard to your dignity, it is called objectification. Your only scope is to help your mistress to get pleasure.
  • You are powerful and in control of your job but you desperately desire something different so, in your private life, you give up control to your mistress and let her take over even your orgasms. This power exchange is even more obvious when your mistress gets as many orgasms as she wants, while you are denied.
  • You deeply want to please your mistress and serve her to the point of giving her all the power to control you as her object of desire.
  • During the denial period, you feel anxious but ready to satisfy your mistress desires and whims. You are aware that, in the end, there will be a kind of reward for you, so it is worth it.
  • You want to reach the insane point where you will do almost anything for the possibility of orgasm. This arouses you so much that you accept to lose your dignity, become a slave, and give up your own orgasm.
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I was once speaking with a mistress, a good friend of mine, and she told me that her slave was literally addicted to the noise made when you lock the chastity cage. That click was triggering erotic feelings in him, it was enough to turn him on. When she unlocked him and gave him the permission, he had the most intense orgasms in his life.

You see, there can be other thousands of reasons, you name them.

Anything is fine as long as the result is that orgasm control brings a terrible excitement, frustration, erotic humiliation to the slave, and extreme pleasure to the mistress.


What’s the mistress perspective

Your mistress knows what she is doing, she has full control of the situation and on yourself. You are aware of that, and this helps you to totally surrender body and mind to her willingness.

From my experience, submissive and orgasm control means to control my slave’s brain.

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I once read an article about this topic where the author said that the chastity cage’s key is a real remote control for slaves’ brain. This image perfectly fits the concept. Don’t you think? (you can also read some impression from the keyholder point of view).

Hormones drive men and we (women) need to find a way to keep a lid on that and guide them according to our desires and pleasure. And, what’s the solution if you are a mistress? To control something your slave really likes and enjoys, namely to take full control of his orgasms. It is as simple as that.

You can also “take advantage” and, among the rest, use him to serve you outside from the sexual sphere. He will do anything for an orgasm. He can do house works for you, or earn enough money to buy you presents, etc.

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How can a mistress be responsible for submissive and orgasm control?

To control orgasm with a stronger effect on your slave, you need to involve physical and psychological “activities”.

Physically, you can use bondage or chastity devices. You can read about some of the tools in my other post.

Psychologically, is mainly about erotic humiliation. This will enhance the slave’s arousal, letting him experience the feeling of being controlled, and much more.

Orgasm control sounds simple, but actually, it isn’t. You need to train your slave for a long period, starting with soft control. You can then increase it step by step until you reach the desired stage. I will talk more about submissive and orgasm control training in my next post.



After this short introduction about orgasm control’s effects, I can conclude by saying that a smart mistress intelligently plays with her slave’s mind. She will use several emotional games to “transform” him to her advantage (always in a reasonable way). By controlling his orgasms, she can manipulate him and remodel him into a perfect slave. We are holding the key, so we can decide what is perfect for us!

Slaves must behave, obey, please the mistress, and know their place without complaining, waiting for a possible reward.

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