“How to control my sub’s orgasm” is one of the main questions that a domme has to ask herself, and find an answer. Orgasm control is one of the top practices in BDSM, so it is popular and easy to learn. You can read more about that in my other post.

It is important to say that there are 2 kinds of subs:

  • the ones asking you to put them in chastity
  • the ones who just suffer their domme’s decision to control their orgasms


Orgasm control, in general


Chastity cage

Let me tell you how this usually works. Your sub is initially out of the cage. Then, he flips his penis into the cage but, as you can imagine, there is not a lot of rooms there. Like, the penis cannot get hard. It has to stay that small. And, if he gets hard, it hurts.

I mean, can you imagine trying to get hard in this when it’s locked out? It’s gonna hurt.

male chastity cage mistresskym
Source: Wish

Ask him to do whatever you desire

So, basically, the promise is that he can’t get hard and you make sure he doesn’t because he’s locked up. Why would you want to do this? Well, it easy to say. You know that men think with their dicks, and society thinks that this is a joke. But no, it’s real! It’s actually true. So let’s say, for instance, that you want your dishes cleaned, you want to walk or wash your dog, and so on. How can you get all these things done? It’s easy: you put your sub in chastity and you say: “do my dishes while I meet my friends”, or “wash my car”, or whatever you desire and he has to get them done as per your requirements.

Your sub will do everything you ask him to do without complaining. You know why? Because he wants to get out of the cage, he wants to get off or have you different offers.

If he doesn’t do what you ask him to do, then there is a problem. I mean, he is not able to watch through the window of opportunity. As a consequence, he is not a good submissive. Or, at least, not yet.


Is he cheating on you?

As mentioned, a locked up submissive will (mainly) do whatever you want him to do. And, as he has his penis locked up, you know, he’s not cheating on you because you know where his dick is at all times. It’s on a key around your neck or around your ankle. Right? Isn’t it awesome?

Once you are going to be doing this you’ll never go back.


How to control his orgasm

I’ll walk you through it. This will be a tutorial for you.

Step 1

Take your basic standard-issue equipment. You take your submissive’s penis and balls, and you try to pull them into the cage’s ring. He has to think about boring things, about football, about his grandma or whatever while you’re doing this because you can’t do it while he’s hard. So, you take this dick and you put it in there. It doesn’t matter where it is, you can move it around later.

Step 2

Now here’s the tricky part. You take this plastic or metal “deck”, and you have to get your sub’s penis inside it. Which means you might need to loop out the tip so that he can sort of go in and there is kind of stuffing a sock in a tiny shot glass. You figure out your own way. You know your man. So let’s say he’s now all in the chastity cage, you put it on there, you got your locker and you can move this around.

The only thing he should have in pain are his balls, and they are painful for not coming.

Step 3

Make sure that your sub doesn’t picklock your lock and frees himself while you are not there!

plastick lock unique number for chastity mistresskym
Source: Amazon

You can check online and look for those shop selling plastic objects. They also have locks. I would say that they are disposable and they have numbers on them, so you can know if he ever gets out of it. They are like a temporary plastic lock with a number on it. So lock it with that plastic thing with a unique number on it, if he cuts that, you’ll know. As a consequence, you can punish him.



That “click” sound, the one you hear while lockin a chastity cage, is magic. Your sub is going to learn to associate that with “showtime”. After the click, he has this lovely piece of jewelry on his penis. It’s very symbolic, it symbolizes your ownership of another person, and it shows that you are the one who controls his orgasms.

Keep the key in good view. You can put it on a necklace and anklet. Afterward, you can enjoy your power and ask him “honey, can you take out the garbage”, or “honey, it would be great if you could go to the opera with me and my parents. Are you coming, right?”. Wouldn’t that be so cool? You see where I’m going with this, right? You can make, can do whatever you want. This is your finger and this is him wrapped around it. Perfect. Now, you have an amazing power here, and I expect you to live up and take full advantage of it.

Mistress Kym is holding your chastity belt keys on her ankle with barefeet
Source: Mistress Kym

You’ve locked your sub in a small cage. He’s bagging you because, I mean, he’s a man. It’s not like he could just turn down, and he’s not like us. We use our brains. Men can’t help but get excited. They want your permission to cum several times a day and you’re basically controlling all of that energy that they are usually wasting in a game of soccer or something else, and you’re utilizing it for good.

Don’t ask on his energy and just basically weaponizing it. Your house is going to be so clean, your nails are going to be so perfect because you will have enough time to do them. You’re going to go to all those female activities. He’s not going to have a game to go watch because he’s going to come with you. You own his ability to cum and all you have to do is say, “maybe I’ll let you out”. And he’ll be okay with that.

So ladies, get that thing on and enjoy being a woman!