The Secrets of Discipline and Punishment within BDSM

Punishment within BDSM

If you are a femdom and you ask your submissive for a service, you then have 2 options:

• You reward him if he did a good job
• You punish him because you are not satisfied with his performance

But let’s go one step back and let’s concentrate on the second option: punishment.

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Punishment and its socially accepted meaning

Literally, punishment is an imposition (positive or negative) to someone who had an unacceptable behavior, disobeyed, or violated the rules in a certain situation.

Punishment can be physical or mental and doesn’t necessarily have to be a violent act. The main purpose is to encourage the person to correct her/his attitude. Its intensity can vary depending on the “mistake” entity and reason (prevention, rehabilitation, education, etc.).

Some define this discipline as useless and dangerous for those who suffer it. On the contrary, if it is smartly applied, a punishment can really better a person. The most common and popular ways to punish are spanking, remove privileges and benefits, repetitive tasks, etc. You can find more information about the BDSM tools you can use in another of my posts.

 

Punishment within BDSM

Actually, the BDSM concept is very similar to the socially accepted one: the submissive didn’t satisfy the dominant’s expectations or didn’t behave in an appropriate way, therefore he has to be corrected and disciplined.

For you, the femdom, it is very important to understand if punishment within BDSM is really necessary for a certain situation. If yes, you also need to decide which one, and if your submissive can use the agreed safe-word. There are no rules for that, every dominant will establish her own guideline within the couple.

As I mentioned in one of my other posts about BDSM, this practice is a lot about trust: your submissive trusts you and your decisions, therefore your responsibility is to always be consciously in control and consistent with what you do and say. In a way, this can be considered a “training” for the submissive.

As explained in one of my previous posts, you can train your submissive both physically or online.

 

Discipline and punishment within BDSM

The submissive’s secret is to remember your rules, obey and behave accordingly to avoid punishments. If he succeeds, it means that you trained him well! But let’s go step by step.

Punishment within BDSM is very often necessary to force the discipline to your submissive. The main goal is to explain to the submissive that he made a mistake and learn that they have to behave in order to be a better person. This doesn’t have to be confused with sadomasochism:

• Punishment has the intention to discipline the submissive
• SM has the intention to please one or both parties.

The main difference between punishment and discipline is that the second one can be also positive, rewarding when deserved. You punish when your sub doesn’t obey or please you, you discipline when you correct or teach him.

 

My experience

I personally am favorable to punishment when necessary. I think that punishing my sub is very constructive and helps him to grow up, to become a better person, and to please me more and more. Every time he disappoints me, I take my time to think about the best and right way to discipline him.

Punishment doesn’t have to be impulsive, but well measured. I have some favorite punishments, mental or physical, but I will list them later.

Another important thing is that, when needed, I always reward my sub. Rewards help him to understand that his efforts are appreciated and he is aware that if he obeys he gets a little pleasure back. I feel I am responsible for his education and discipline, and I am really proud when he executes my orders in an impeccable manner.

 

Examples of punishment within BDSM

As mentioned a couple of lines before, the punishment intensity will depend on the submissive’s mistake.

In addition to that, you can find several ways to punish someone. The first big difference is between mental and physical, some of them can be both. For example:

• Physical and/or verbal humiliation
• Repetitive and boring tasks
• Control and/or denial
• Production
• Sensory deprivation

Among the most popular we have:

• Spanking: with bare hands or whip, cane, and paddle. You can apply this punishment as you do with kids. Please be aware that some subs can like it, but this is not the purpose of this action. If this is the case, you’d better choose another punishment type.
• Sensory deprivation: you can blindfold, handcuff, tie him or insert a gag directly in his mouth. These actions are very humiliating for someone subjected to it.
• Orgasm control: you can control it, ruin it or just deny it. Probably, this is the biggest torture for a man. A chastity belt is a tool that cannot miss in your collection!

 

The psychological effect on submissive

First of all, always explain to your submissive the reason why he will be punished. Only in this way he will understand his mistake and will take you seriously. Your consistency between what you say and what you do is essential in this case. Your sub will be involved in a mental process of self-discipline and will be aware of your rules.

When you punish, in your submissive’s brain there is an explosion of neurochemicals that transform physical and mental pain into “pleasure”. Endorphins act as a natural pain reliever. As mentioned in another of my posts, pain brings a magic mix of dopamine and serotonin which bring him a positive feeling of tranquility, happiness, self-confidence, fulfilled desires, etc. This experience will become arousing and pleasant thanks to that.

Pros and cons of punishment within BDSM