A guest blogger from FetLife wrote this post for me. It is a real story about his meaning of submissive in a relationship.


Meaning of submissive in a relationship (by whippedslaveboy)

To me, the meaning of submissive in a relationship is the underlying realization and acceptance that the Female partner has all of the authority in the relationship and is superior to me. That is the underlying foundation upon which my submission in a relationship is based upon.
By having this underlying belief, my submission in a relationship is omnipresent in everything that occurs within the relationship. This dynamic permeates every facet of the relationship – which constantly reminds me of it. As time has gone on, this dynamic gets more and more reinforced.

(This is not unusual, read my post about femdom relationship evolution, ndr)


When you feel “less”…

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After all, it has been said that when you tell someone they are “less than” – eventually the person starts to believe it. That has been the case with me. I felt deeper and deeper into this mental state. Slowly, I accepted the fact that my destiny is to be submissive in a relationship with a Woman. I find myself naturally asking permission super-respectfully for basic things that vanilla males would take for granted.

But vanilla people have a divorce rate exceeding 50%. I don’t consider those odds something to strive for.


The relationship with women

The meaning of submissive in a relationship is about acceptance. I am not worthy to be with a woman even though I have always wanted to. I have always found myself shy and awkward around women. Over time, these feelings of shyness and awkwardness have morphed naturally into feelings of intimidation of Women and eventually into feelings of unworthiness of Women. In hindsight, I have always been submissive around Women long before I even was cognitively aware of the word submission. Over time, as my shyness and awkwardness continued to preclude me from enjoying typical vanilla relationships with women, I have started to view having an equal vanilla girlfriend as less and less attainable, despite my desire to have such a relationship.

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Losing hope…

There was a time that I somehow managed to muster up enough confidence in myself to remain hopeful that perhaps someday I would be fortunate enough to have a girlfriend who would respect me and be kind to me. But month after month and year after year, I experienced nothing but failure and rejection. The sting of being rejected by multiple Women over the years haunts me. I eventually determined that instead of spending the rest of my life chasing a dream that has been so elusive, that perhaps it would be better to accept the fact that I am not worthy of an equal vanilla relationship.


Time to accept to be a submissive

Rather, I have chosen to accept that I should fully embrace the concept that I need to be submissive in a relationship in which I feel unworthy to be in a higher position.
When I first made this acceptance, I had much ambivalence. After all, it was very humiliating for me to come to terms with – and embrace – the concept of me having my status lowered to that of being submissive in a relationship. But the years of rejection had started to break me. I noticed that my confidence level (never high to begin with) went lower and lower as the years went on. When I finally got to such a low point that I really felt like a pathetic worthless submissive, then I felt like I had a whole new passion that I could pursue that would give me a renewed sense of motivation in my life.


Female supremacy

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I discovered that my focus should be on making a Woman happy and keeping Her happy. And that my being submissive to Her would ensure that I would always be focused on Her happiness. This, instead of me becoming self-absorbed. I have strongly embraced the principle that the Woman’s cares are my concern. But as significant as this milestone has been, I am keenly aware that I have still just scratched the surface of my journey into Female Superiority. I feel like the journey has just begun. I recognize that I am still just a submissive. There is a huge difference between seeing myself as boyfriend-material vs submissive material.


Finding your place…

But there is an equally huge difference between viewing myself as submissive vs getting to a deeper place in which I become a full-fledged slave. I feel this would be my ultimate destiny – to get to such a low place that my status is lowered to that of a slave in a relationship. If and when I get to that lowest level, I imagine I would be fully vulnerable to a Woman since I imagine she would lose all respect for me. At that point, I would be devoid of any last shreds of dignity. This, because the Woman would regard me like a sub-human disgusting slave. But I imagine that me being at such a low position would enable me to fully maximize my usefulness to a Woman since I would not have any strength left to dare question Her or disobey Her.

meaning of submissive in a relationship
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When I reflect back on my life, I can at least take solace in knowing that I lived this dynamic to the fullest extent possible. I feel vulnerable enough to where I can imagine that leap happening. Finally, I view it as a natural progression of my journey. I went from an equal, vanilla-orientated male, to a submissive male in a relationship. Now I just imagine as one day becoming an owned slave in a relationship. This progression has been a natural consequence of my confidence weakening. And the acceptance of embracing the fact that I feel inferior to Women. It makes me appreciate it each day even more now. This is because I am aware that I may eventually lose the freedoms I currently have. I find myself both scared and excited about my future status as a prospective slave in a relationship.