Our history is full of examples of discrimination, hate, and fear surrounding people and behaviors that we don’t understand. Like the ones having alternative sexualities and the ones who practice them. Many BDSM practitioners live in fear of persecution and discrimination. Huge steps have been made for our gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community. But, unfortunately, awareness of BDSM and, specifically for polyamory, have had no such luck.

Stereotypes and urban myths about these lifestyles that pervade popular opinion are damaging people who practice these lifestyles.

 

BDSM stories and polyamory

BDSM people identify themselves as “kinky” and 100% participate in the BDSM lifestyle. They feel super queer, and some even practice polyamory but they don’t necessarily identify themselves as a polygamist.

polyamory mistresskym 1
Source: Pinterest

Being polyamorous means to just have open relationships, with a lot of communication and no boundaries placed on other people. A polyamourous knows that no one else will fulfill the wide variety of ever-shifting needs, and is okay with that.

 

How does BDSM polyamory work?

It looks like something different all the time. Sometimes it means that you are not dating anybody. Sometimes it means that you have a longterm partner or that you are in a long-distance relationship and you are casually dating people who are in your immediate proximity, too. This is a super common within BDSM stories. Many do that just like it is the most normal thing in the universe.

polyamory animation mistresskym
Source: Pinterest

You know, it’s kind of the same process of you doing something that society frowns upon. And so you kind of have to take that with a grain of salt and accept that this doesn’t change you as a person or doesn’t change who you are. After all, you are still the same person, the one you have always been. You just didn’t know this aspect of your personality. There isn’t anything negative with that. But, according to monogamous relationships, the fact that someone can approve polyamory becomes something like a negative power and forces you to go back to “normal” relationships. Something that not necessary you are looking for. So, feel free to be yourself but always respecting others!

People choose to be monogamous because they think it’s what is currently right for them. And for some that might mean that for a lot of other people this is restrictive and changes who they really are.

 

BDSM stories and personality

Let’s say that now I know a lot of aspects of my personality that I wasn’t aware of before. I feel like BDSM has kind of allowed me to realize some parts of myself that I had forgotten or withheld in my subconscious. Those things are triggering for me and I’ve been able to kind of realize things that have happened and why they happened. I learned to be able to cope with them and learn how to trust people and, and you know, know when people are really there for you.

polygamy mistresskym
Source: Pinterest

I like the communication that happens within BDSM stories and I love the openness of polyamorous relationships because, in order to have a healthy relationship, you really have to understand what someone else is going through and what his/her emotions are. And I really love just being able to have a safe space where to talk about that. Normally, in polyamorous relationships, there is a lot of communication and a lot of acceptance of feelings and actions. I think that a lot of people judge polyamory and it would still be really hard for me to open up to them and to let them know that I’m polyamorous.

 

Conclusion

I would be nervous to be polyamourous as that’s a difficult lifestyle. Or, better, it is difficult to be accepted by society. It’s like anybody in the “general” public fears of rejection, fears of people being weird and abnormal. And so it is not possible to freely talk about that to each other. Also, people fear being diagnosed with some kind of mental disorder by seeing polyamory and BDSM as simply a facet of their personality and not a pathology symptom that needs to be corrected and healed. Many therapists can improve trust and communication, both of which greatly increase the likelihood of a positive therapeutic outcome. If you or anyone you know, needs support with an alternative sexual identity, search the web because you can find many useful resources clarify, or at least try to explain, what this is about. I will share a few links when I find some interesting ones.